


Maybe with your help I’ll be able to get over my fears

by RidingMalum



Category: Stargirl (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29700099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RidingMalum/pseuds/RidingMalum
Summary: “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling that way, okay? I’m scared…”
Relationships: Yolanda Montez/Courtney Whitmore
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Maybe with your help I’ll be able to get over my fears

Yolanda Montez is the furthest thing from fearless. She doesn’t know how or when she got the title from her friends. She used to be fearless. She’d be excited to get up for school and stand up on the auditorium stage. Make plans for fundraisers and talk to other students. She’s not like that anymore and she thought that maybe once she became Wildcat that would change. It helped slightly, she’s not afraid of her own shadow anymore but she’s still afraid of others. 

She knows that when others see her with the punching bag they think she’s taking her anger out on it but that isn’t true. She puts all of her fears into it and punches. It helps in some kind of way, makes her feel more in control. But then her knuckles are sore and she’s out of breath and that fearful feeling comes back. She hasn’t told anyone about this. Not her parents, for sure, she knows that they would blame her for putting herself into a position where she felt like this. She could tell her friends, her new true friends but no matter how much she trusts them and deep down she knows they wouldn’t judge her, but that doesn’t stop the badgering thoughts that if she told them they would think less of her. 

So she stays quiet. Even when she and Courtney start dating, she says nothing. She knows that Courtney can tell something is wrong but with everything going on with the ISA she hasn’t said anything. Yolanda is glad she hasn’t because she’s not a fan of sharing her emotions, she’s trying for Courtney but it’s slow going. 

She’s only let Courtney know how she felt one time and it was before they were even dating. Before they were even completely friends. The feelings that Yolanda had been bottling up had come out when she first returned the Wildcat suit to Courtney. 

Courtney had looked like a kicked puppy when she had been shut down. Yolanda hadn’t known the blonde girl for very long but she did know that that look twisted something inside her that she didn’t like. 

“Yolanda, think of everything we could do! We’d be such a good crime fighting duo.” Courtney said, excitement and hurt both in her voice. 

“Court, it isn’t that easy.” Yolanda responded quietly. She didn’t want to let the happy girl down but she had no other choice.

“Well, of course fighting crime isn’t that easy! But putting on our costumes and doing good things will feel nice.” Courtney said, and at this point she just sounded desperate.

“My parents won’t let me.” Yolanda replied. She knows it sounds like a weak excuse to Courtney but she doesn’t know how to make her understand. Doesn’t know if she wants her to. 

“Well we can’t tell our parents! What superhero tells their family that they’re superheroing?” Courtney says, and at this point Yolanda wouldn’t 

“That’s not what I mean. My parents already don’t let me out of the house. They can’t look at me without disappointment in their eyes. It kills me, Court. I don’t want to do anything that’ll make them hate me more.” Yolanda’s voice is shaky and she thinks she might cry. She hopes she won’t and in one breath says, “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling that way, okay? I’m scared.”

Yolanda finally breathes and thanks God that she isn’t crying. Courtney is standing there stock still and isn’t saying anything. Yolanda, for once, is hoping that Courtney says something because the silence is deafening. 

Courtney doesn’t say anything. Instead she walks up to Yolanda and gives her a bone crushing hug. Yolanda melts into it, it has been a long time since Yolanda has been given a real hug. She buries her head into the blonde curls and if a few tears slip out neither of them mention it. Courtney finally let’s go with some hesitation and pretends she doesn’t notice as Yolanda wipes a few stray tears away.

“I won’t push you.” Courtney finally says, she doesn’t know what she expected the other girl to say but she feels a weight lift off of her chest at Courtney’s word. For the past few months she’s been pushed in every direction but her own. It’s not something Yolanda is used to, she’s always been in control of her life. “If at any point you decide that you want to be Wildcat the costume is always here, and as for a friend. I’m always here.” 

Yolanda murmured a a thank you and left. She came to the conclusion that when she got home she would finally talk to her parents. She wasn’t going to sit back and let them dictate what she could and couldn’t do anymore. More or less, she came to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to let them anymore. No matter what they said.

That’s why, after the conversation with her parents went horribly but just the way she expected she sat on her bed for a good fifteen minutes before looking at the Wildcat suit and putting it on. She climb up to Courtney’s window and the girl immediately jumped up with that golden smile of hers and ran to the window. 

“You still down to fight some crime?” Yolanda smirked, and in the costume Courtney was reminded of an actual cat. 

“Like I said, I’m always here.”

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote a fic specifically for starcat. Hope you like it! Feel free to send requests in at my tumblr @ svnnypope and leave comments down below.


End file.
